Apologies and I love yous
by Evelien Michaels
Summary: story A in the EO fluff ABC's series... story C now up! please R
1. Apologies and I Love You's

Title:

Author: Evelien Michaels

Rating: PG

Summary: EO (obviously) they both longed to hear 3 words… they just never imagined they would ever be spoken…

A/N: I promised my friends Bri and Britt that I would write something fluffy for them…. so here it is… this idea just popped into my head, so… don't expect something really awesome…

REVIEWS MY LOVERS

"Liv! Olivia, please open up!" Elliot shouted from outside her apartment door, banging his fists against the green paint, in pure desperation.

"Leave me the hell alone Elliot!" she shouted back, trying to keep any emotion from her voice though tears had already begun dripping down her face.

"Olivia… please…" his voice had noticeably softened, but she swore that she would not give in to his plea.

"Just leave me alone…"

"Olivia… I'll stay out here all night if that's what it takes…"

"Well suit yourself… it's pretty cold out there, and it starting to snow…"

"I don't care Liv… I'll wait all night for you to open this door…"

"Whatever Elliot… I'm going to bed…"

He listened as her footsteps stomped off in the distance, and jumped when she slammed her bedroom door shut. He could be a real idiot sometimes, and he knew it.

_FLASHBACK_

_They were in pursuit of a perp who was wanted for several accounts of rape and assault, and they knew they would not let him get away. As his getaway car turned toward Queens, they chased him, a cat-and-mouse game that had gone on for the last hour and a half._

_"Will he just give up already!" Olivia asked, getting slightly agitated as she watched the felon from outside her passenger window._

_"I think he's asking himself the same thing…" Elliot turned the wheel down a dead end alley, blocking the exit and cornering the suspect._

_"Hands above your head!" Olivia shouted, as both she and Elliot jumped out of the car._

_They drew their weapons at the same time the perp brandished his own 9mm. The two detectives exchanged glances, knowing that they would have to handle the situation carefully so no one would get hurt. _

_"Listen… you… drop your weapons right now…" He yelled back, trying to sound like he was in charge, though he was staring down the barrel of two highly trained cops' guns._

_Neither Elliot nor Olivia moved a muscle._

_"Listen, you drop your fucking gun now or I'll shoot your lady friend!" He replied in Elliot's direction as the gun turned toward Olivia._

_"I don't think that's a good idea…" Elliot stated calmly, knowing that the perp wouldn't shoot._

_However, the look in his eye was scaring him and anxiety gripped him as the thought of losing his partner, the woman he loved crossed his mind. In front of him, the suspect looked ready to fire and began to pull the trigger back._

_BANG_

_Elliot stood immobilized as the body of the perp hit the ground. The shot nailed him in the shoulder, causing him to drop the gun and fall to the ground. He immediately called for an ambulance; he was bleeding pretty badly, and they didn't want him to die. They wanted him to die in jail, not in the middle of an abandoned alley._

_When the ambulance arrived and the suspect was rushed to the hospital, Elliot and Olivia climbed back in their car and headed back home. _

_"Liv… you ok? You haven't said anything…" Elliot whispered over the soft Christmas music that flowed from the speakers._

_"Just take me home Elliot…"_

_They drove the rest of the twenty minutes back to Olivia's apartment in awkward, uncomfortable silence until they at last reached her apartment complex._

_"I'll walk you up Liv…"_

_"That's ok Elliot… I can take care of myself…"_

_Her words were bitter and Elliot knew she was referring to the day's prior events._

_"Liv…"_

_"Don't you 'Liv' me Elliot…" she replied through gritted teeth, glaring at him._

_She stormed up the stairs, with Elliot following behind. She fished for her keys in her purse and tried to open her door before Elliot caught up to her. From behind, she felt his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged him off. _

_"Don't touch me…"_

_He had never heard her sound so cold… and it scared him._

_"Liv…"_

_The door slammed in his face before he could say anything._

Olivia lay in her bed trying not to think about her fight with Elliot. She knew that he had only acted in her defense, to protect her, but she hated when he acted like she couldn't fend for herself. The rational part of her brain was screaming that she would have done the exact same thing, had their positions been reversed, which made her feel a sudden rush of guiltiness.

She put her coat on and grabbed her purse; she had to go apologize to him. As she opened her door, she was surprised to see Elliot sitting on the ground leaning against the opposite wall.

_"He stayed…"_ she thought to herself.

Maybe he really did care about her as much as she cared for him…

"Elliot… wake up…" she gently shook his shoulders, causing him to jolt awake startled.

"Liv…" he murmured, opening his blue eyes that Olivia loved to gaze into.

"Come on… you must be freezing out here…"

She helped him stand to his feet and they made their way over to her couch, closing the door on the way. She sat down next to him as he wiped his eyes and started to become more aware of what was going on.

"How long was I…?"

"Five hours…" she whispered, completing his thought.

"You left me out there for five hours? What's wrong with you?" he smiled as she slapped his shoulder. _"She's not mad…"_ he thought to himself.

"Elliot I'm so sorry… I shouldn't have yelled at you…"

"I was just trying to do my job…"

"I know… I would have done the same thing…"

"I was so afraid that I was going to lose you…" he replied, laying a gentle hand on her knee.

She leaned into his touch, resting her head on his shoulder. "I love you…"

For a second, Elliot wondered if had imagined her confession and Olivia was mentally kicking herself for saying her thoughts aloud.

He looked down at the beautiful woman resting her head on his shoulder and replied, "I love you too Liv… more than you'll ever know."

On any given night, Olivia Benson's mind would be crawling with thoughts of predators prowling around the streets beneath her. However, tonight, the only person on her mind was the man whose arms she lay peacefully in. For the first time in years, she slept serenely.

THE END

A/N: well I hope y'all enjoyed that story… sorry for its extreme pointlessness, but that's what happens when you write something in 15 minutes with your brother's extremely bad guitar playing in the background.


	2. Bingo and Retirement homes

Bingo and Retirement Homes

Summary: Elliot and Olivia volunteer, after a little persuasion, to help Lizzie's girl scout troop get a badge for community service.

A/N: I don't own SVU... this is the "B" story in my EO alphabetical series! Please review!

January 23, Monday

OLIVIA'S POV

"Elliot..." I whispered looking up from my desk on this deathly slow Monday, "you have company..."

His eyes lifted with the same bored expression mine held and turned toward the door. Immediately, his eyes widened as his youngest daughter Lizzie, who was now in fifth grade, came running to him.

"Hey squirt!" he smiled, a smile I only saw on rare occasions.

"Hey daddy!" she squealed, returning his smile.

I watched the two of them, while secretly pretending to do my paperwork. While Elliot sat and listened to Lizzie tell him about her day at school, I noticed Kathy walking down the hallway out of the corner of my eye. I watched her climb in the elevator, sighing as the door shut.

_What did she do to deserve such a great family"? I thought to myself, focusing my attention back on my everlasting heap of paperwork. She has the sweetest kids in the world and the most amazing husband... well ex-husband... how could she let a man like Elliot get away...?_

"Liv?" my head darted upward at the sound of his voice and I wondered if I had spoken my thoughts aloud.

"Hmmm?"

"Welcome back... you zoned out for quite awhile..."

"Oh... sorry..."

"Lizzie wanted to know if you would like to help her girl scout troop..."

"OK..."

"They need to do something for the community to get a... badge..."

"And..."

"They need another adult to help..."

"What are they doing exactly?"

"Helping the elderly play bingo in a retirement home..."

"Um... seriously?"

"Yes..."

"I don't know El..."

"Please 'Livia!" Lizzie begged with the same expression Elliot gave me when he wanted something.

"I'll be there too..." Elliot added.

"well in that case, I guess I'll do it..."

"Thanks 'Livia!" Lizzie squeezed me tightly before running down the hallway to meet her mother.

"Damn you Stablers and your ability to suck me into anything."

Elliot gave me a cheeky grin, "it's one of our more endearing qualities..."

"Ha ha..."

"You know you'll have fun Liv..."

"Yeah, I can laugh when one of the old ladies beats you over the head with her cane..."

"Well, not before I laugh at you when an old man hits on you..."

I stopped laughing and felt a wave of heat rising to my cheeks. I swallowed my embarrassment and decided to turn the tables by making him feel uncomfortable.

"Oh..." I sat on top of his desk and leaned down to whisper, "I think somebody's jealous," in his ear.

"Please Liv... if I wanted you, do you really think I would ask you to come along and spend the day with a bunch of older men, who probably have never and will never meet a woman as beautiful as you are?"

The moments that followed were occupied by me staring, my mouth agape, at my partner.

Did he really just call me beautiful?

"Liv? Olivia?" he waved his hand in front of m face, pulling me from my reverie.

"yeah?"

"We'll pick you up at 5:30..." he said, sliding on his jacket.

"Where are you going?"

"Shift's over Liv..."

"Oh... right..."

"Oh and by the way..." he leaned over my desk and murmured, "close your mouth... you look like a fish..."

He turned to face me, as he walked down the hallway, laughing at my failed attempt to hide the fuming red color on my cheeks.

5:30 OLIVIA'S APARTMENT

I fidgeted with my hair for the thousandth time before hearing the doorbell ring.

"It's open!" I hollered, checking my appearance in the mirror.

The anxiety I was feeling at that moment was purely unexplainable. Elliot was taking me to a retirement home and yet inside I felt like it was some sort of date. I chose to wear a sky blue v-neck sweater that contrasted perfectly with my dark hair and a pair of sleek black pants.

I walked down the hallway, adjusting my earrings as I watched Elliot and Lizzie exchange laughter over some topic that left Elliot blushing.

"It's about time you came 'Livia!" Lizzie exclaimed jumping out of her seat to smother me in a warm hug.

"Ugh... it's nice to see you too Lizzie..." I smiled, bending down to embrace her and catching Elliot's gaze for the first time that evening.

Oh... those eyes... those blue eyes...

I felt color rise to my cheeks for the third time today and realized that I was staring at him. Reaching for my jacket, thoughts raced through my mind.

Does he know what he does to me? Does he feel the same way? Oh god Olivia stop thinking about this! He's your best friend, your partner! He just got divorce last year!

"So... let's get going..."

The car ride to the home was rather entertaining. Lizzie and I made fun of Elliot because we both knew that retirement homes make Elliot act really... strange. He said they "reminded him of a morgue." The entire ride I could feel Lizzie's eyes on me, watching the way I looked at her father. I can't help it... spend everyday with a handsome man and after a few years you can't help but fall in love with him...

Did I just say...?

"Oh my God..." I didn't realize I had said anything aloud until Elliot turned to me.

"What's up?"

"Oh... um... nothing... just thinking..."

"Anything interesting..."

"No...not really..."

_You know, just the fact that I'm in love with you... my partner... my best friend...I thought to myself_.

"Ok then..." he fixed his gaze back unto the road and parked the car in the nearest space.

Elliot noticed everything, and eventually he would ask me what was on my mind. I always found it hard to keep anything from him... _how was I supposed to hide something as big as this?_

ELLIOT'S POV

To tell you the truth, I had no idea what to expect. Stepping through the door, the first thing I noticed was the immense number of people. There were at least thirty people, not counting the eight other girls in Lizzie's troop and their families.

Mrs. Wilt and Mrs. Ault were working in the kitchen with their daughters, while the other families helped set up the stuff for Bingo and chatted with the elderly folks. Lizzie spotted one of her friends and immediately took off to help her move tables.

"It's crazy in here!" I said to Olivia, who appeared to be scanning the room for something to do.

"You can say that again..." she replied absent-mindedly, hardly even acknowledging my existence.

"It's crazy in here!" I repeated, smiling devilishly at her.

She slapped me in the chest playfully, returning my smile. "Let's see what we can do to help..."

Thirty minutes and much confusion, later we were seated amongst the elderly folks, bingo cards on the table and stampers in hand. Olivia sat across from me, quietly chatting with an older lady. The way she smiled was priceless; her eyes lit up for the first time in awhile.

Cases had been bringing her down lately, and I really missed that smile.

"Hey Liv..."

"Yeah?"

"I bet I'll beat you..."

"Oh really? Well what happens if I beat you?"

"You get the honor of saying you're better than me at something..."

"Right... and if you beat me?"

"You have to do my paperwork for a month..."

"Oh that's really fair... how about loser does the winner's paperwork for two weeks..."

"And has to work with Munch on a case..."

"Ha ha... you got yourself a deal partner..."

Halfway into the game, I realized it may not have been wise to make bets on a game that was solely based on luck. Liv only needed four more numbers to completely fill up her board, and I was far from winning. She smiled innocently at me, as if she was reading my thoughts, before bursting out laughing.

"Oh it's that funny!"

"Have fun working with Munch, El..."

"Hey you haven't won yet..."

"You need ten more numbers..."

"So..."

"B5...B5..."

"Now I only nine..."

She smiled and shook her head, putting her focus back on listening to the numbers being called.

The man Wilbur seated next to me reminded me off my father. He was a good person to talk to and had an uncanny sense of humor.

"Hey Sonny..."

I looked up at him as he spoke, "You got yourself a fine young woman... don't you let her go now my boy..."

I felt my face suddenly get hot and prayed that by some miracle Liv didn't hear him. Across the table, her chestnut eyes locked unto mind and a smile spread across her face. We both began to laugh at the sudden silence that surrounded us.

Maybe she just thought it was a joke. _Is the thought of us being together that funny? _

Our laughter subsided when number N34 was called.

"Hey LIv..."

"Mmhmm...?"

"Bingo..."

"Oh no you... you didn't!"

"Have fun with... Munch..."

OLIVIA'S POV

An hour later, it was time to say goodbye. At the beginning of the day, I must admit that I was somewhat dreading the rest of the evening; however, we had a good time (minus the fact that I lost the bet!) and Lizzie was happy I could come along. I realized that we were headed back to Elliot's apartment and gave him a questioning glance.

"I was wondering if you wanted to talk about the case," he said, answering my unspoken question.

"Ok," I smiled watching the lights of the city dance outside my window.

In the backseat, Lizzie was playing the "Spy on the Adults" game. I loved how Elliot's kids seemed to do that when I was around... maybe that means something...

"So did you have fun Liz?" I asked, turning around in my seat.

"Yeah..." she yawned, closing her eyes and leaning against the window.

"Looks like someone's tired..." Elliot whispered.

"She's not the only one..." I replied, leaning back against the headrest.

For the next thirty minutes, I slept blissfully unaware of Elliot's eyes upon me.

"Olivia... Liv..." I stirred under the feel of his hand on my shoulder. He smiled at me and helped pull me to my feet. "If you don't want to work on this now, I'll take you home..."

"No Elliot... it's fine..."

I followed him in through the door and immediately collapsed onto the couch. The sound of his laughter filled the room, until a pillow I had thrown ended it.

"Oops..."

"You're just mad because I won..."

I threw other one at him, but he was quick enough to catch it the second time.

"Are you don acting like you're two because we should get started..."

"Ha ha..."

I opened my files and soon crime scene photos and documents flooded the table.

"Poor kid... she didn't deserve this..."

"El, no one deserves this..."

He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him.

"Liv, you gotta stop blaming yourself for this... it's not your fault..."

"I know..." I replied sighing heavily into his chest, "I just... I don't know..."

"I love how you care about everyone else Liv... but I feel like you never talk to me anymore..."

"About what?"

"About you... usually you would tell me what's eating you up... I know something's on your mind... what is it?"

I pulled out of his embrace and stood up abruptly.

"Liv? Olivia? Please tell me what's wrong..."

"I can't..."  
"Why... did someone hurt you, because i swear I'll kill the..."

"ELLIOT!"

"Sorry... please tell me Liv..."

I couldn't bare to look at him any longer, so I instead stared at the ground. It took all my strength to keep my composure, but I felt a tear at last roll down my cheeks.

"Olivia?" he reached his hand out to me, but I didn't move. "Olivia please?"

"Elliot stop! JUST STOP IT OK?" It never occurred to me how loud I was screaming, or that his four children were upstairs.

"What's wrong! You don't have to guard your emotions around me Liv!"

"That's just it! I never let anyone get close... but you... you've started to break down my walls and the entire time I've been working so hard to hide from you... I love you Elliot... I..." my voice faded to a dull whisper, "I... I love you..."

My accusation surprised both of us and I felt suddenly vulnerable and exposed.

"Olivia... come here..." he laid a hand gently on my arm, causing me to flinch.

"I... I... I have to go..."

"Olivia? Olivia please don't!"

I bolted out the door as fast as physically possible. I've been hurt too many times after telling others those three words; I wasn't going to get hurt again... however, this time I didn't just speak those words... I meant them... I was in love with him...

"Olivia wait!" he grabbed my wrist before I could even close the door to his house.

"Let go of me!"

"Please don't leave Liv..."

"Elliot... please I have to go..."

I tried to squirm from his grip, but he pulled me to him. I thrashed against him trying to get away, and before I knew it, I was crying into his chest.

"Ssh... it's ok Liv..."

I sighed into him, allowing myself to relax into his embrace.

"Liv... why did you try to leave...?"

"I shouldn't have..."

"Shouldn't have what?"

"Elliot... I've learned that those three words have done more to hurt me than help me..."

"Olivia... I could never hurt you... look at me Olivia..." Following his command, I raised my head and saw that there were tears falling from his eyes as well. "I love you Olivia... I would never do anything to hurt you... I know your scared, but I..."

I cut him off by kissing him gently; something inside of me still felt vulnerable... _did he really love me?_

His hands found their way to my face, pulling me even closer to him. I knew that this was a day of new beginnings... and a day neither of us could forget.

A/N: wahahaha! So thanks for reading... and FYI, this is not a continuation of the first story, this story is the "B" story in my collection of one shot alphabetical EO fics. So... I'll try to update with story "C" - Commitment as soon as I can! Please review!

EVELIEN


	3. Commitment

Chapter 3: Story "c"

TITLE: Commitment

Author: Evelien Michaels

Rating: PG

Summary: Olivia reflects on her relationship with Elliot (set after Bingo and Retirement homes)

Six Months Later

Olivia's POV

Watching the sun's first beams of light dance across his face was a sight I hoped would come everyday. It always amazes me how the shards of lights would break through the slits in the blinds in a manner that created a harmonious picture that would differ each day. The color of his golden skin, accented the gentle curl of his lips. His peaceful expression matched the qualities of a man who saw me inside and out, a man who came to my rescue like a gift from the Lord above.

For six months, I had the pleasure of waking up to that face; I experienced the feeling of having a loving arm around my waist each and everyday. As a child, this feeling was completely foreign to me; however, now I felt as if I was taking it for granted. No words can describe how hard it was for me to accept Elliot's love.

When you spend the first seventeen years of your life with an abusive mother, ugliness and emptiness are the only feelings you grow accustomed to. At first, I succumbed to "teenage love" and found myself in a relationship with a **_much_** older man who "loved" me. Those were the years when sweet white lies would make my heart melt.

After I was thrown out his door by his **_wife_**, I realized how stupidly naive I was; not only had I actually believed he was in love with me, but I had allowed myself to fall crazily in what I believed was love.

In the years that followed that incident, my heart and soul became so cold, that anyone who dared to come anywhere close to me would find themselves waking up the next morning to a massive hangover and an empty bed beside them. As an adult, I was often referred to as a cold, heartless bitch. I was the "get up and go girl," sleeping with men and leaving them the next morning.

Eight years ago, however, I met a man who changed my life as well as my outlook on love. Elliot Stabler was a sight for sore eyes, and someone I immediately attracted myself to. Granted, at the time, he was a very married Catholic father of four, and I was just a distant, stubborn woman who sometimes turned to the bottle.

We automatically clicked on a level most partners will never reach. He taught me now to accept myself as more than just a mistake in the world. He helped me come closer to my mother before she died and above all, he made me feel beautiful for the first time in my life. In his eyes, I was more than something put on this Earth by a man whose criminal mind impregnated my mother against her will; I was a woman with purpose, brave, compassionate and beautiful all in one.

As the sun appeared completely above the horizon, a new image flashed across his face. The glow of a prism refracted its light across his cheekbones, arousing him from his sleep.

"Hi..." I whispered in a small voice.

"Good morning..." he smiled, the effects of just awakening lingering in his voice.

"Sleep good?"

"I always sleep good next to you my dear..."

The way syllables rolled off his tongue made simple words sound like a symphony to my ears, and knowing that I would spend the rest of my days listening to that voice was enough to make me smile.

"What are you smiling about?"

"Nothing..." I laugh lightly, pulling myself as close to him as physically possible.

I love moments like these; both of us lay silent, with the sounds of steady breathing and loving heart beats filling the room. These are the moments when it is just me and him, nothing else in the world matters.

"So Mr. Stabler... what's for breakfast?"

"Whatever you make us Mrs. Stabler..."

"Oh so I'm your slave now?"

"No, you're my wife... and I'm hungry..."

"Oh boo hoo... let's go... we need to be at work in an hour..."

"You're mean..."

"Yes I am..."

"Great... and to think, I wanted to spend everyday with you!"

"Oh what a tragedy! How ever will you survive?"

"Fine! I'm up! I'm getting up!"

As we headed downstairs to the kitchen, I realized how lucky I was to be married to a man who was so much more than my partner. He was my soul mate, the other half that made me whole. Being called "Mrs. Stabler" was something I could never get enough of. It amazed me that I had come so far from being the fruit of a rape.

I was now a mother, a detective, a lover, a wife, and an amazing woman who now held a purpose in life. I, Olivia Benson, had given in to commitment and became someone greater than I could ever have imagined.

A/N: just to let you know, this was a continuation from the "B" story; however, the rest of the fics in this ABC series are not necessarily connected, so I'll let you know if they are ahead of time. I'm not sure when the "D" story will come up, because I don't know what it's going to be about yet and I have a RESEARCH PAPER! AH! Lol... please review! I love your feedback!

BTW, if any of you need someone to read and edit your stories, i would love to help you out!

Evelien


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